Looking at them shedding their tears as they try to fight with their ego, listening to their heart breaking stories, seeing them trying to mend their broken heart, feeling the hurt that I once felt, its an unexplainable feeling im feeling now.
Love can be such a beautiful thing in life. Yet, its the most cruel weapon that can cause death in our breathing soul in this world.
Its a risk that we are willing to take. To give all out, to surrender our most fragile and most precious organ in our body to someone else, trusting them to own it and take care of it.
& I believe that once you gave it away, you can never have it anymore. You can't give it a second time. And even if you had it back, it won't be as pure as a newly born baby with a new heart. Its shattered, wounded, plastered, ugly, and even more fragile.
I made a mistake for giving my heart away. But it's not a mistake I regret doing. I only wish, I would not have given it when I was still young and naive.
It's a little too late to take it all back. Despite it all, its not only a broken, wounded hearted that I was given back, but he gave me something that I will always carry around throughout my life. It's lessons and memories.
The truth is, I admit I wasn't prepared to face what love has to offer. And I am still not prepared. Im happy with the way I am now, leading a single life. No restrictions, no controls, no obstacles, not heartache, no cries.. Over love.
I did cry once in awhile thinking about the past, how much I missed how it used to be. And every now and then, there's hope. But then again, I have to wake up to the reality of life. Even if miracles could happen, it just wouldn't happen to me.
As I have said, I am happy now. And i have to thank that one person who made my life that had turned black and white once upon a time, to a rainbow with lots of butterflies and full of life.
I am not ready for love. But I love just the way it is right now. Maybe, one day, I'll have hope on love again.. I'll learn to say out that three words again.
