To think back of how I reacted to all those that had happened, I realised I was being foolish. How far can I run and avoid the world out there? No matter where I go or what I do, I can't stop people from talking about me, I can't stop people from hating me and I can't erase history. So, right at this moment, Im facing the world with dignity, tearing down the walls that I've built around me and let them challenge me in my face. This time, Im facing the truth and the harshness of the reality in life.

Yes, things happened. My love story is somewhat similar like any other break up stories, on the surface. But beneath it all, I know what really happened. Family, friends, foes, haters, whoever that knows us might thing it was just another teenage love story. No matter how much support I get from the closest ones, I know deep inside their heart, no matter how small it is, they believe that our love wasn't real.

They can say or think whatever they like. They can just simply hide their thoughts within them or be upfront about it with me, but truth be told, only I know how does it feel. Sure, in some people's eyes, Im the "bad" one, always hurting, always take him for granted. Same goes to the other some of people's eyes, they see him as the one who is not meant for me, the one who have hurt me.

Well.. let's just say.. we were both hurt with each other. We made mistakes, too many in fact, that at one point of time, one of us eventually gave up. It's part and parcel of life. Too many dramas, too many arguments, nobody can ever endure it. Just like how it happened to us. So, what's the big deal? Break up happens. That doesn't mean our love wasn't real.

Now, take a step back and look at the holistic view of our relationship. Was it really like any of those guys who break up because one has lost the spark of the relationship, or was it one of those who always quarrels over the littlest thing and just believe that they can never work it out or perhaps, it was one of those who dumps his/her partner because he/she had enough of the nonsense in a relationship? Technically, yes, that was all the reason for our break up. But our storyline from the beginning that leads to this ending, was nothing like any other normal relationship.

Looking at the couples out there, it gives me a little bit of hope on love, though I am not expecting it anytime soon. There are people out there who went through tougher than what me and him had went through, yet still are together. With all due of my respect, they deserves a pat on the back.

I don't know what's the main point of me typing all this on my first entry. I guess, I just want people out there to know that my broken relationship used to be real. It doesn't matter how fast it ended or how bad it ended, but I believe that me and him used to share a great special feeling with each other.

It may be lost. It may be gone forever and it might not happen again. But it did happened and all I need was a bit of respect from people, especially to those close to me, about us. You can simply take our relationship as just a stupid puppy teenage love, or believe that our relationship was just a fling, or think that we took it as a joke. You can simply hated me or him for what happened in the midst of all of it, or thinks that we are not mature enough to be in a relationship, or even think that we're not meant to be. Yes, think and believe all you want. But we deserve some sort of acknowledgement, that I was once, the girl that he fell in love with, and he was once the boy I fell in love with. We used to be happy, we used to be there for each other. But it happened once upon a time ago, and we're looking at the present and heading towards the future now.

*You can pass this blog around, show it to the world, to my haters, to the people who are part of him about my life. But believe me, whatever I said, it's the truth. I seek for clarity that I am not sulking over the past. It's about you having to digest and mature your brain that whatever that had happened, it was the past, and yes it did happened.

Just being honest,

D.