At the age of 18, probably 3/4s of these teenagers have experienced heartbreak. Be it a long relationship or a short one, real feelings involved or just a fling, or simply even just as a crush, each of us have gone through those heart aching moments in our life. What really happen after it ends?

You cried your hearts out till you're drained and fell asleep. You wake up the next morning, stare at the ceiling, recalling what just happened in your life and wish it was all just a dream. Then, you realised it was all real. You stare at your phone hoping that there's a message by your partner saying how it was a mistake and wants to be with you again, but no, your phone simply stare at you back, nothing but the wallpaper.

You go through the day with a sullen face, eyes red and it keeps getting wet every minute. You try to look fine but you're not. You try to do anything that you have always been doing but your mind was filled with the past memories, the Break Up moments, your regrets and what should have been if you have said or done things differently.

You walk through a place that you and your partner used to spend time together; a park, canteen, class, hall way.. anywhere and your mind lingers to those precious moments. His/her favourite food, the song that used to be "our" song, inside jokes, hobbies, or even the smell of your partner.. it all suddenly came to you and you realised how much you miss your partner.

You buy the things that reminded of him/her. You kept his/her pictures and bring it everywhere with you. You kept a special piece of remnants that he/she once gave you or something that belongs to them and you hold it tight, not keeping it out of sight even for a second. And when your friend rants happily about how happy they are with their partner, you smile and be happy for them but deep inside, your heart aches because you used to be in their shoes.

It happens for as long as your heart aches; a day, a week, a month.. for as long as it aches, you won't be able to move on. But it's not really the time that matters. It's how you deal with it.

I am not afraid or embarrassed to admit that whatever I have described, yes that's exactly how I have dealt with things till this very second. It may be months since it happened but I am still aching. It's funny how I try to hide what I really feel infront of my family and friends. It's funny that Im trying to act all okay when they talk about their partner, when his name was mention, when people show and tell me how happy they are. I forced myself to give another try with guys only to fail it halfway. I simply keep my mouth shut when all I wanna do is rant about how much it hurts because nobody would want to listen to my lame rants and see me cry over something that had happened a long time ago.

Yes, I want to cry on someone's shoulder so bad. I want to rant and let everything out that I have been keeping inside me. I want someone to listen to me. I want someone to know that I am not okay. I want someone to hug me and tell me that everything will be okay. I need that someone.

It's funny that I have many people that I can talk or rely on, but I can't simply find a person who will sit infront of me, eye-to-eye with me and tell me, "Im here. Now tell me what's wrong."

As time goes by, I realised the only person that I can rely on is myself. I tell myself every single day that today, I'll make it through just like the past many days. Hell yeah, it works. & I've been dealing with it alone.

Just being honest,

D.